Dale Carnegie (born 24 November 1888, Maryville, Missouri, U.S. – died 1 November 1955, Forest Hills, New York) was an American writer, lecturer, and pioneer in the field of public speaking and the psychology of the successful personality. He was born into poverty on a farm in Missouri. Carnegie wrote the best-selling book “How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936)”, which is still widely read today. He also wrote Lincoln the Unknown (1932), How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948), and several other books.
Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success. It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it. Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurt his sense of importance and arouses resentment. Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto. Our thoughts make us what we are. When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity. Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried today, makes the strongest falter. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions. Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment. When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness. Keep busy. It's the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth — and one of the best. You can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity. Act as if you were already happy and that will tend to make you happy. Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.
Many people think that if they were only in some other place, or had some other job, they would be happy. Well, that is doubtful. So get as much happiness out of what you are doing as you can and don’t put off being happy until some future date.
Dale Carnegie Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’ Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind. One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind. Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours. Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore. The essence of all art is to have pleasure in giving pleasure. Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw the mud, the other saw stars. Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, for your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. Even god doesn’t propose to judge a man till his last days, why should you and I? The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another’s keeping. When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still. Remember happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think. You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. If you want to keep happiness, you have to share it. Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic. Of course your husband has a lot of drawbacks. If he had none, he would never marry you! If you are not in the process of becoming the person you want to be, you are automatically engaged in becoming the person you don’t want to be. The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours. You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing. Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back. All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory. Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have. Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get. Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession. The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want. There are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wish you gave. I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument — and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes. Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves. To be interesting, be interested. Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him. Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you. You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way. People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. Each nation feels superior to other nations. That breeds patriotism – and wars. Criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so. The world is so full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition. First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. The only way on Earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire. Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair. An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing. A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Everyday is a new life to a wise man. Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed. Tell the audience what you’re going to say, say it; then tell them what you’ve said. Remember a name and call it easily and you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment. Ask questions instead of giving orders.
Your purpose is to make your audience see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. Relevant detail, couched in concrete, colorful language, is the best way to recreate the incident as it happened and to picture it for the audience.
Dale Carnegie Flaming enthusiasm backed up by horse sense and persistence is the quality that most frequently makes for success. The average person is more interested in her own name than in all the other names on earth put together. People are more likely to accept an order if they had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued. If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view. You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself.
The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.
Dale Carnegie You are merely not feeling equal to the tasks before you. If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep. For better or worse, you must play your own instrument in the orchestra of life. Winning friends begins with friendliness. Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear. There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.